Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
