My friends, they love my intelligence
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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