the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize