Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
