I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Someone shit on the floor
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Holy shit dude........stairs
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