her vagine was all disorganized.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
