Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Randomize
