i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
