I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
