i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
