i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
