no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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