I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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