i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
