He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I touched a dick in church today
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