Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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