Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
