Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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