Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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