im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
