Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
