Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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