My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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