Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
