Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
