also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
