Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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