In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
