saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
