lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
