dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
