Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How does it feel to date your dad?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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