i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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