just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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