So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
