I want to have your abortion
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
