I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You're like the curious george of whores
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
