sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
