Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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