hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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