I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
