Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
