I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
