dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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