lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
