my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
