sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
