How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
