i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
