you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
