I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
