R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize