how can u be prego again
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
