Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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