I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
