I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
it hurts more in the daytime
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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