party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
