You made me cry and you don't even care
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
