the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
