We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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