my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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