he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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