if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
