well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
